What to Expect in Your First Therapy Session
Congratulations! You’ve taken the first steps in your mental health journey and booked your first therapy session. Now what?! You’ve likely put the date on your calendar and have mixture of emotions and thoughts. Was this the right step? What will my therapist think of me? How honest and open should I be? What is the parking situation like?
Many have walked the therapy road before you, and here are few tips and insights on what to expect in your very first session.
First, take a minute to pat yourself on the back. This is a brave step! Although the stigma around mental health is lessening it still exists. Beginning therapy is not a sign of weakness. Therapy is for everyone, no matter your background or situation. We all need someone in our life who can listen to us, provide support and unconditional positive regard. This is a safe space, free of judgement and criticism.
You most likely got an email with paperwork. So much fun, right? Although none of us enjoy the paperwork side of things it is very important to complete all documents prior to your first appointment (24 hours is ideal). This way your therapist can review your assessments and get a little background information on you. In your first session your clinician will review these with you.
Your therapist is also here to get to know you. So, expect questions. Your therapist will ask you questions like, “Tell me about your symptoms?”, “How you cope?” and, “Your reasons for beginning therapy”. Also, if you have questions about the therapeutic process fill free to ask! We are here to help put you at ease as much as possible.
Next, expect a conversation about confidentiality. Confidentiality ensures that therapy is a safe place for you to share your thoughts and feelings. Your therapist will go over how what happens in therapy stays in therapy. The only exception to this is, by law, if you are in imminent threat of harming yourself or another person we must take appropriate steps. They will also outline these steps.
You will also create a plan on what you would like to work on. Some therapist will give you small tasks to begin implementing between sessions. You will also talk about your goals and hopes for therapy. You will work together in creating a plan.
Emotions. Yes, emotions. You may start to feel emotions in your first session. That is okay. Therapy can be emotionally draining. You are uncovering many things that your brain has worked really hard to bury. Painful memories and feelings that you never explored come to the surface. As you sit down in the comfortable, warm, safe space that a therapy couch offers, the floodgates may open, whether you intended them too or not. I tell my clients that you don’t apologize for sweating at a gym so you shouldn’t apologize for your emotions while in this safe space.
So how honest should I be? The more open and honest the better. You are not a “burden”, you are not “trauma dumping”, we are trained professionals here to help you. The best thing you can do during your therapy sessions is to be open and full disclose. Not every session will be intense, especially starting off, but when it is known that it is part of the process and we are here to help guide you through this journey.
Will my therapist tell me I’m wrong? Most therapist won’t tell you if you are right or wrong. Instead, they will focus on helping you focus on the things that you can and can’t change, and your responses to events and situations. Therapy is largely about looking inward. You might need to talk though past trauma and strategies that you used to cope. By looking inward you may explore phobias you have, troubles with interpersonal relationships, or areas that deserve better boundaries.
You may think to yourself, “Can I ask questions?”, absolutely! There are no “right” or “wrong” questions for your therapist. You may ask about their training, theoretical orientation, or how long they have been practicing. Don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions or have your therapist repeat information. Not every therapist is a good fit. The more you are comfortable working with the person sitting across from you the more comfortable you will be about sharing personal information. Some questions you may want to ask are:
· How much experience do you have working with someone that is experiencing what I’m experiencing?
· How should I prepare for a session?
· Do you offer telehealth and is it on a secure platform?
· What is your cancellation policy?
Durning your first session you will most likely establish goals or create a plan. This is a collaborative effort to identify what healthy skills and coping strategies will help you reach this goal. You may be feeling parenting stress, need help improving quality of sleep, or have a fear of public spaces. Whatever reasons you have sought out a therapist help for we can help develop a plan to help you achieve your goal.
You may feel drained after your first session. You are unearthing events and memories that your brain has worked really hard to keep buried. Painful memories of your past and feelings that you never explored may be like opening a floodgate, whether you mean too or not. This is to be expected, yet surprising. You are opening up to a complete stranger in ways you have never been able to open up to others in your life. Don’t be scared. Being open and honest with your therapist is one of the best things you can do for yourself. You should know that not every session will be intense.
Here is a quick list of some Do’s and Don’ts for therapy in general.
· Do- Be kind to yourself. Let yourself feel your feelings.
· Do- Tell your therapist what is on your mind. No reason to tip toe.
· Do- Give therapy a few tries. It does get easier. The first session is often a lot of background and getting to know you, which doesn’t always feel helpful, but you are building a good foundation to your therapeutic relationship.
· Don’t put up a wall. Therapy works best when you are committed to opening up and leaning on your therapist.
· Don’t ask your therapist personal questions. I know, a little unfair. They know everything about me and I know next to nothing about them. A healthy professional boundary about self-disclosure is in place for a reason, the focus should be on you.
· Don’t save the big things for the last five minutes of your session. I’ve lost count of how many time people have waited until the last five minutes (or as they are walking out the door) to mention something hugely important. When you reveal something big at the end of session you are doing yourself and your therapist a disservice. Share with us when you have plenty of time to discuss these topics.
You’re nearing the end of your first session. Wow! That therapy hour went by fast! What happens now? Your therapist will probably summarize your first meeting and goals. You may be given some tools to put into your therapy tool book. Some of these healthy habits may include taking a walk, or engaging in mindfulness exercise, or even coloring! Before wrapping up, if you feel comfortable continuing to work with your therapist you will likely set up a time for your second visit.
Therapy can be extremely helpful. Therapy is for everyone. Hopefully this is the right time for you and you can begin working on yourself. Remember, therapy isn’t selfish it’s self-care. You won’t be “healed” or “fixed” overnight. According to the American Psychological Association about half of people with mental health symptoms need between 15-20 session to begin to feel relief. So be prepared to see your therapist for a few months, minimum.
Don’t let this process overwhelm you. Take it one session at a time. You don’t (and shouldn’t) have it all figured out after one session. Give yourself the time and space to process. I once had a professor in grad school tell me that you can’t talk about your childhood trauma in therapy one minute, and then go to the grocery store ten minutes later and pick out grapes. Plan to take yourself to lunch, grab a coffee, or work out. Take a little time to sit with what you are feeling after a session.
Congratulations on your first therapy session. I’m proud of you.
Therapist in Kansas City
Our compassionate and highly-trained clinicians have used relational psychoanalytic, attachment-based, and experiential approaches to support individuals in Kansas City, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Texas, and Florida. Our therapists are dedicated to helping you navigate challenges such as anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, personality disorders, past or recent trauma, and more. We offer individual counseling, group therapy and telehealth options.
